Ideas are constructs that help things make more sense, help hold two or more things together, or bridge you from one way of thinking to another. The difference between an idea and a skill is that skills require that you do something to create a change. When you do it over and over again, you gain proficiency. An idea is just a thought. Holding the thought can lead to change, but you don’t have to practice anything to make it present or useful.
An example of an idea is “The system seeks homeostasis.” Let’s break this down. A “system” is two or more things that have some relationship. “Homeostasis” is balance or sameness. Everything has balance. Even dysfunctional things, like an alcoholic family, have homeostasis, so “balance” doesn’t necessarily mean equal or healthy. It could mean a way of working that is predictable or comfortable.
So, “the system seeks homeostasis” is a way of saying that things want to be the way they used to be. It’s hard to change because it’s not just up to you. You’re only one spoke in the wheel. The other spokes don’t have the same drive. They want to be comfortable, so they will most likely subtly pressure you to go back to the way things were- even if the change is a good one.
If you know this, it’s easier to identify it when it shows up. You’re less likely to take it personally. And you can even plan for it in advance.
So let’s look at how this works in life. Let’s say that you start going to counseling because you realize that you don’t have the greatest boundaries and you want help with that. So, when you stop doing some things and start doing others that demonstrate healthier boundaries, it’s typical for you to get some kick back from your spouse and kids because they like things the way they were. Even if things weren’t great, it’s the devil that they know, so they will fight to keep them comfortable. Got it?
If you were not born into a complementary dualistic system with sovereignty, connection, and oneness as the foundation of your life, you may resist some of the ideas here. You may get some push back from the people in your life. Just see it for what it is. Consider it, and move in the direction of your choice.